Its All About Chemistry

My experiment this weekend did not go as I expected; such is science. It was non-the-less an atom splitting discovery. Eureka! I think I’ve got it!

I started my trial with an hour of full productivity ( A Pickle in Time) and ended satisfied. Next I began a full hour of doing as little as I possibly could. I lay in savasana, eyes open, trying not to think of anything at all except to rate how ‘fast’ time was passing.

Great idea until 15 minutes in I fell asleep and woke up to the timer beeping, time perception was over, my analysis ruined. Statistically, there was not enough evidence to conclude that my first hour spent was any different than my second hour spent. Statistically, there was only enough evidence to conclude my whole idea was flat ridiculous.

To get over my poor study design, John and I decided to go get some dinner. It was a Friday night and very early. Early enough to go down to Phil’s BBQ which usually has a line wrapped around the building. But at 4pm we could walk in nonchalant, share a beer and even sit and chat with no pressure from the wait staff to turn over our table. ‘Twas lovely!

Afterwards, it was still so early we decided to stop by Home Depot and dream about our house and build ideas about our future projects. On the way home I remember looking at my phone and shrieking in amazement “Baby, its only 6 o’clock. We still have all night.”

Once we got home we tinkered and goofed off and then just got super silly, cracking up a few side splitting laugh-o-thons. Finally, we calmed ourselves and started a fantastically smart new television series ‘Boardwalk Empire’. It was on the couch when I finally sat down where I had my epiphany.

I was falling in love with the evening. We had done so many things and were having so much fun, and time was at a stand still for no reason at all. Time was not flying by, it was right there in the moment.

This was a typical evening for us and there was no other place in the world I would have rather been. There was nothing else in the universe or any other dimension I would have rather been doing. It was there that I realized I cannot control time, nor even try to control how I perceive it.

It is like falling in love. That desperate emotion to guard it, keep it and maintain it will only suffocate it and smother out its fire. And no matter how difficult it was, I remember, at that time in the beginning when things were in romantic chaos, I knew that I had to let go. I had to let fate, and the universe do what it wanted to do because things like these cannot be controlled. It was at that moment I jumped in.

And so I jumped into the time in my life where I could just let go and enjoy being in love with the moment.